T. S. Eliot said that “the end of all our exploring
will be to arrive where we started and know the place
for the first time.” My church background certainly
did not start Anglican, yet something about the liturgy
and traditions I encountered when I began attending
felt to me like coming home. I felt reconnected to something
I had never been connected to before, reminded of something
I had never seen. Though new to me, the traditions connected
me to my own roots because they were a part of the history
of the Body to which I am joined.
I stumbled upon the Anglican Mission in America as
a nomadic college student. Perhaps because my family
was living overseas or perhaps because our culture is
shamelessly mobile and rootless, the rootedness of the
traditions struck me as being as potent in my own faith
as it was lacking in the culture around me. It spoke
to me of a Faith that was grounded, not shifting with
changing moods and cultural tendencies, that was relevant
in our culture because it was true, not because it was
whimsical.
As I absorbed the histories behind the traditions I
encountered, I began to realize something that I as
a history major had somehow overlooked: the Church had
not been invented at a convention or by Jonathan Edwards
or the Pilgrims or even Martin Luther. Somehow all my
lessons in Church history had given me the impression
that after the Apostles died there was a fourteen-hundred-year
gap before the next movement of the Spirit. Interacting
with these men and women who had passed the Faith down
to me was like the day I met my great-grandmother who
I had known in theory had once existed but who I was
surprised to learn was actually still alive.
Every week I gathered with the Body, a Body that included
those in the room and those thousands of years older
than me as much as it did the future generations who
would rise after me. I would kneel with this company
to confess that I had not loved as God had called me
to love, I would shake their forgiven hands as I greeted
them with the peace of Christ, I would stand with them
as we prayed to be forgiven as we forgave, and I would
finally file with them to the cross where we would eat
of the same bread and drink of the same cup. In a culture
that stresses individualism as one of its chief virtues,
I was comforted to be absolved of the responsibility
of being an individual entity; I was suddenly bound
to a living unit of humanity that included those who
penned the words I prayed, bound by the Spirit through
whom we prayed them.